Gina Bucci

Thank-you

Dear Mary: In thinking about our pre-arrangements I would say there are several reasons to pre-arrange – especially at our "young" age. In our case, obviously we were all caught so unprepared. Who expects a seemingly healthy person of 49 to die so suddenly?

So, knowing the shock, pain, numbness etc. that we had to endure AND then to have to go out and shop for everything necessary to bury our husband/son/brother/father/.....we could not fathom putting this kind of burden on anyone else, especially our children, so it made sense now for us all to deal with the business of final resting places for ourselves instead leaving such a daunting task for the ones that are left behind.

Also, prearranging mine and David's cremation and buying that particular niche (vs. a private niche) takes away any question that my children might have had should we had died without expressing our wishes to them. It was the same with my mom as well as with Ray and Tina. As a matter of fact, in Ray and Tina's case, considering Tina has always been against cremation for herself, their prearrangements may potentially (should Tina pre-decease Ray) save Ray from inevitable heartache and dispute with one or more of his children if they were insistent that mom didn't want cremation (similar thing happened when Tina's mom died, and her dad said her mom had wanted cremation, but Tina and her sister were not aware of it, and had a really hard time accepting it).

Also, it gives us some comfort to know that we will all be together in the end, that we all have a place where we can all still be a family, even if it's just as a visual memory to those that remain.

Furthermore, the financial burden is ours to bear - and it's made easier at Bayview with the 4 year, no interest plan. No other relatives will have to consider the expense nor will they have to come up with the money to lay us to rest.

If you had asked me on July 31 if I would consider pre-arrangements, at 44 years old I would have laughed and said I thought I was still a bit too young to be worrying about that stuff. But, as you know, our lives were blown apart on August 1, and it would have been a relief to not to have to go out and take care of all of this, when all we wanted to do was wallow in our sorrow, and find a way to help each other go on. Simply put, when a loved one passes away, you want to devote your energies to helping, comforting, healing and just getting through each moment - the last thing one wants to be doing is business!

Sincerely, Gina Bucci